I know my last post was long. Didn't really felt like blogging until now.

Sigh,I have no idea how I have another big swing again. Today was fine,went out with prash and kevin in the afternoon to discuss our HSBC project,at night when to RF with friends,enjoyed dota-ing. So how do I come home suddenly and feel all down? Well not down I guess,nostalgic maybe? Hard to describe.

Sigh. (Starts randomly) I always don't like the idea of having celebrities and models. Enjoying nice songs and skills they have are great of course. But sometimes when some of them became so great to me,I'll kinda feel down cause maybe all I'll get is a glimpse of them in my lifetime. Why let us see people who are so great in singing,people that look so breathtaking,but not let us meet each other? Think about the number of people in the world you can meet before you die,how many can you meet? How many neighbours of us living in the world will we not even get to see until the day of our deaths? In Online games,every single friend of mine,would probably just get to know me online,and not see each other forever. It's a sad thing isn't it? Thats why i trust people so much online... Thats all you can do. Treat your friends well,cause of out so many ppl in the world,only a few will get to be your friends...

Speaking about life. It's such a special thing isn't it? We have only one each. And although different religions do promise eternal life and stuff. I have to say Im a great believer of God. But sometime we have to use some suppositional reasoning don't we? What if we view life scientifically. One universe? One world? One life? To think about it,100 years ain't a lot isnt it? Think about what it was like the day before you were born. Can't picture anything right? It's like... all blank? Imagine its like that after you die. Painless,but... you won't feel anything anymore. How I wish when I am dead i can still float around the world and enjoy stuffs...Sigh


Better not say so much. Cant really express what Im thinking in the 2 paragraphs above anyways... I think this will prolly explain it :

SKnlsdakncl;ksnvsdnvslnvsdklmcksmdcksmdc;ksvfsknvdlkfnfvkdfnv

Got it?

Till then. sigh. bb

Has been a loong time since I last blogged. Its pretty much dead lol.

My computer keeps showing this error and I hate it. Hope my core-2-quad will be back soon. Then I can enjoy again. It has 4Gb of ram btw. LOL.

Nothing much recently,just schooling,gyming ( sometimes only ). I have to admit Im getting lazier nowadays. Competition is on Tuesday,and Im not prepared yet. I heard my coach says my first match is a tough one. :S Tomorrow will be going to watch Death Race and attend Kuo Hong and Yongbo's farewell party :( Will definitely miss them a lot....

By the way,one funny thing. I was at food court eating that day,and this family came to see what I eat. Then ask me where I order LOL. Like Im a pro-eater LOL. They asked where I order my char kueh teow first. Then 5 minutes later came back again,ask me where I order my lo pak kau. LOL

Sien... I hope I can win this competition...

Wish me luck ppls! Till then!

:(

Today is a sad day for me. I have just found out I lost someone. I dont want to stop this post, because this someone,or something,means that much to me,I have so much to write about.

She was first given to me maybe... 4 years ago? :( I can still clearly remember the night she came. It was raining heavily, and thunders were blazing throughout the sky. She,still a stranger to my house,just hid under the car the whole night. All I can do was look at her. She was quiet, and I didnt dare to approach her as I'm still a stranger to her. That night,I slept so early just to wake up early tomorrow morning so I can get to know her.

We got closer and closer,and she grew up cuter and cuter. I have been through so much with her. I can still remember the days in Form 2 when I was still a total noob in badminton. Everytime I go out for a jog I will bring her with me. Everytime I sit outside and tie my shoe lace,I can see her jumping around,knowing Im going to bring her for a jog. There were times when the skies are dark and I fear it will rain soon. Times that I just decided to go for a quick and short jog without her,everytime I leave my house gate,I can hear her crying. And shes so special,cause she only cries when I leave the gate with my Yonex shoes,my jogging shoes. Its like she knows that is the shoe I jog with. When I go out with other shoes or slippers on,she will be wagging her tail happily.

Time passed,and I got fitter. I think. She was so healthy. And till now I feel sorry cause there was a period of time where I didnt play with her a lot. Too busy with life I think. Then one day she got pregnant,and she gave birth to seven puppies. I kept 2 and the rest were given to friends. From that day on,she kind of lost her attention. We did care as much for her,but we also paid attention to the puppies. But still,she was still pretty in the crowd. Then,there came the date of my dad's contract renewal. This was the first time they actually had a check on the house. To make sure my dad is just doing his job as a teacher,not doing illegal things at home or renting rooms to outsiders. Keeping illegal immigrants etc. And that was when the customs officers saw the dogs. Two of them were ok but one was totally unhappy. He then told us about the laws. To keep a dog,we have to tie them up. Yes,even a cage/enclosed area does not work. We have to tie them to something. I was initially ok with it,after all I can let them free sometime when its safe and etc.

But my dad didnt want to risk his contract. He wanted to be as clean as possible. He said its better we send them back to Kuching,and just keep one of the sons with us. My uncle then said he will be responsible,and promised me that he will take care of the dogs till I finish my studies and go back. I thought it was ok considering dogs live up to 8-10 years? Some even more. And she was just 2-3 yrs old? So I let them back.

I can still remember the night before she left. I sat outside my house patting her and she was falling asleep. She was lying down in front of me and I can still remember the smooth fur she had. Of course she wouldnt have understand what I said,but I still remember I told her. Be a good girl,go back to Kuching,and dont simply bite people,I will be there during holidays and after a few years when I move back,I ll spend the rest of her lifetime with her. I told her I will take care of one of her puppies in Brunei. Tears flowed down my cheeks that night. The thought of not seeing her for months. The thought that something might happen to her when Im not there. She slowly closed her eyes and fell asleep. I then went upstairs too.

The next morning,I can still remember one of the puppies crying as the other puppy and the mother left. It was 530am and it woke me up. How loud it was,can you imagine? The puppy didnt cry when I sent the mother for vaccination. That morning,it was like he know the mother will be leaving for a long time. I woke up,on a friday morning. And went down to pat him. He didnt eat for a day or two,and did not move around either. It was heart breaking to see a 2 mth puppy being left like that. He eventually healed and grew up. Living lonely here where the other 2 lives with each other in Kuching. I always wondered whether they will remember each other when I bring this puppy back in a few years. Now,I wont get to know the answer.

I also healed a few days after that,life seemed to be usual without the other 2 dogs. Of course when the holidays are around the corner, and I know I will get to see them, I will get very excited. Everytime I come back from Kuching, I will miss them for a few days before I start to forget about them. One day,she did something wrong. She bit an airconditioner pipe. And my uncle got really angry at her. He wanted to throw her away but another friend of his offered to take care of the dogs. He then agreed and passed the dogs to him. I can still remember going to that uncle's house and seeing my dog crying when they see me. Its like,I can hear them saying. " What place is this? I want to get out? You are finally here! " And then,when I leave them,its as if they look at you with the " I am not going with you? " look.

2 months ago,she got sick. And the doctor says that she has a heartworm. It will heal of course as long as they brought her for some running. I dont know whether they did so. But all that I know was that. It didn't cure. It claimed her life. I know,I should blame no one for this,except myself. I shouldnt have let them take her back. It wasnt her fault to bite the pipe,she doesnt even know what that is,and its impossible for her to be able to understand my advice to "be a good girl". It wasnt my uncles fault for sending her away as she did bite his pipe. And it also wasnt his friend's fault for not taking care of the dog. It wasnt his dog,and of course he feed her and let her roam around the house compound. No way I can expect him to bring her for a walk everyday.

Lucky,if dogs can read in heaven,and that is what I hope. I just want you to know I miss you so much. I feel so sorry I cannot be by your side during your last moments. I just want you to know I will take care of your two sons. And that Im sorry,I made a wrong choice. Im so sorry...

I will treasure the memories of you jogging with me. The times you come into the house and played around and I had to chase you out. The times you got naughty and ignored me when I told you to sit. The times you hopped around the fence when I was about to go for a jog. 5 years passed fast didnt it? Im sorry I couldnt be with you for the last 1 year.

Lastly,I just want you,and everyone else to know that. (In the start of my post today,stated also) I always treated you more than a pet,more than an animal,even more than a friend. I always treated you as a person. And today is the day,not the day I lost you,but the day I found out I lost you.

I didn't lose a pet,an animal,or a friend. I lost someone close to my heart.

R.I.P. Lucky


You guys should know why it took me one month to find out. Who would dare to tell me about this?


Sigh. Feel so sad now. Dont even know whether I can sleep.

My 18th Birthday Pictures. ( Taken by Yongbo! )

Omg taking so long to upload. I better type first then. The pictures are blurr lah,cause yongbo tried to take them spontaneously to make everyone look candid? I dont know lol. He uses one hand and walks around taking photos. He doesnt tell when he takes photos also lol.

There are still a lot of photos but I cannot upload them. So big,somehow the photoes are around 2mb each and its taking long to upload. I better try to shrink them first and then post the others next time.

Have accounting test tomorrow. Kinda got myself out of stupid celebrity crush and focused back on life. BUT,still no motivation to lose weight. PWM next month,someone help me please. Those who didnt see me for a long time,am I now fatter in the pictures? Dont hesitate to tell me LOL. So I ll work hard on losing weight and winning the competition. Hope I will be on the papers haha! But already a few times i was on papers so I think also nothing much kua? I think maybe... 10+ times? Sas interschools,ibc friendlies,uncle's art exhibition... etc.

Sien... still uploading wtfiak.

Hmm... 20 minutes till I'm 18.

Really.... Speechless ok. Time passes so fast,now I'm almost 18. Im supposed to be an adult? I dont feel like one. I am kind of stupid to get emotional because of celebrity crushes,yes i know,dumb kid. Think so much again,but what to do,I cannot change what Im thinking.

I will set some plans for my new year being 18:

Get thinner,Improve in Badminton,Increase gyming weights
Work hard in studies,do all my homework,get good results for AS levels
Socialise more,people say I have a lot of friends I dont think so! See tagboard so empty!!!
Pick up a new music thingy,singing i think. Too ambitious? ( DnD ppl know how good i sing dota songs ok. LOL JK! )
Just be a better person...

More to come.

I hope all readers of this blog can remind/scold me when Im not trying to achieve any of the goals,I tend to steer away a lot.

Man... finally 18.

BAH NEXT MONTH PWM OPEN! HERE I COME!!! WATCH THE NEWSPAPERS PEOPLE! FOR MY PICTURE TO BE THERE!

Man I didn't blog for so long. I am really lost now,I know it fails to say something like that,especially when I am a christian,but,I suddenly dont know whats my purpose. OMG.

Share you all a secret.

Have you ever had a celebrity crush? Well most of the people have quite a lot. It just makes you think like,what a great person she is,and how cute and sweet she is. Not forgetting,hope you can be older now maybe? Well,the first time I saw her was on TV ( DUH!). In a singing competition.

She lost her parents at a young age. And she mother left her some piano pieces if Im not wrong. She and her 2 siblings then worked so hard till today. She was singing a song,the lyrics was almost exactly like her life. How she left her town,went to the city herself...How she worked hard and became independant. What touched me so much,and I almost cried,is that she was actually almost going to cry,and a tear came out when the song ended. ( It was 2 minutes maybe? shortened cause its a competition ) Imagine how deep she puts herself into the song,in 2 minutes time can feel so emotional.

I just love soul-type singers like this. Not to say,she has a great smile,and she is very cute. Too bad,20 years old. GG.

I'll find the video now,and post it here. I think you all should watch it,even if you dont understand chinese. See whether you can "feel" it. Also,do correct me if I gave wrong information about her.



There is she. Rachel Liang Wen Yin. :)